What If the Problem Isn’t Your Body—But the Way You’ve Been Taught to See It?

I’ve heard it dozens—probably hundreds—of times:

“I’ll book a shoot when I’ve lost a bit of weight.”

“I just don’t feel confident enough yet.”

“I’m not photogenic. I hate pictures of myself.”

And honestly? I get it.

We’ve been told, in so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that we have to earn the right to feel good about ourselves.That confidence only comes after we’ve changed something. Lost the weight. Toned up. Cleared our skin. Gotten “back” to a version of ourselves from the past (or an idealised version that never really existed).

This is what no one tells you: The way you see yourself is often a bigger barrier than anything about your actual body.

Because when I photograph women—and these are real women, not models, not influencers, not people who spend their life in front of a camera—something shifts. And that shift isn’t because I’ve posed them perfectly or airbrushed them into someone else. It’s because, sometimes for the first time in years, they’re being seen without judgement. And then they’re seeing themselves without judgement.

They stop picking themselves apart. They stop saying “I hate my arms” or “don’t get my stomach.” And they start saying things like:

“I look strong.”

“I look stunning.”

“I look like me.”

That’s the magic. That’s the transformation. And it has nothing to do with fixing your body.

Maybe You’ve Never Been the Problem

What if your body isn’t the issue? What if the problem is a culture that’s made you believe your worth is tied to how small, smooth, or “pleasing” you are?

What if the mirror lied to you because the voice behind it wasn’t your own? Maybe it was an old partner. A parent. The media. A comment from someone who never deserved a say in how you feel about yourself. That voice gets in. And once it’s in, it’s hard to shift.

But photography—real, honest, body-positive photography—can be a way of turning the volume down on that voice. Not overnight. Not in one click. But image by image, moment by moment, we start to reframe.

You Don’t Have to Be Confident to Book a Shoot

Here’s something I want every woman to know: You don’t need to be confident to do a boudoir shoot. You don’t need to love yourself yet. You just need to be open to the idea that you might deserve more compassion than you’ve been giving yourself.

You can come in nervous. In fact, most people do. You can come in not knowing how to pose, or what to wear, or whether you’re “doing it right.” That’s all okay. That’s my job to help with.

Confidence doesn’t come before the session. More often than not—it shows up during it. Or after. Sometimes it sneaks in quietly. Sometimes it arrives with a jolt of “is that really me?!” But it comes. Gently. Honestly. In your own time.

So if you’re reading this and it’s stirred something in you—maybe even something uncomfortable—I want you to know this:

You are not a problem to be fixed. You are already worthy of being seen. And your body deserves more kindness than it’s probably been given.

Whether you’re curious about booking or just want to quietly follow along for a bit, that’s fine. There’s no pressure here. But if this blog made you pause, or tear up, or whisper “yes” to yourself… maybe it’s time to start seeing yourself differently.

I write these blogs to create space for honest conversations about confidence, visibility, and showing up as we are. And if you ever want to chat about what a shoot might look like for you, my inbox is always open.

You’re not alone in feeling this way.

And you’re more than enough, exactly as you are.